I'm gonna have a badass scar
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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