four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
