idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
