Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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