ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
