Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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