Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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