Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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