you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
