ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
