my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How many fucks given?
0.12846
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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