Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
