when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
