yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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