I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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