Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
