what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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