good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
