You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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