6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize