not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
