so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
