just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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