I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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