You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
