babies were throwing up all over the place
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
