Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
