The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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