the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
