was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
As shirtless as possible
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
