Please, let me fuck your mom
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
