you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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