How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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