his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize