I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
