thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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