If you die in college, do you die in real life?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
