We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
