okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just puked most of my soul out..
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
