Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You work out of a Hotel?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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