Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
