life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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