If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i now understand why vodka
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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