I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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