I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You ruined the universe
Randomize
