I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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