I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
