If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
