Duck Duck Cougar?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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