How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
