why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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