they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
His hands were made for my vagina.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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