There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
