I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Couch. On fire.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
