I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
