i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
