I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
