the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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