We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
