It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize