Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
