So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
