My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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