I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
