Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
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