It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
