So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
