I cut my penus on the lid.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
