so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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