My hair reeks of homosexuality.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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