I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
