so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize