You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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