It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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