He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
